Car humor

There’s just something about automobiles that makes them the perfect central figure in jokes. Blame it on the technical complexity, importance to image, or people’s inability to operate them, car jokes are plentiful.

Here are some of my all-time favorites.

A guy has his old truck towed into the mechanic, because it wouldn’t start. The mechanic fiddles under the hood for a couple minutes then reaches into the cab and the truck instantly fires up.

“Just crap in the carburetor,” says the mechanic.

Surprised, the truck’s owner looks at the mechanic and replies:

“How often am I supposed to do that?”

A beautiful blonde drives her Mercedes into dealer and asks why her new car has “710” written on the engine. Confused, the service manager has her pop the hood and point out where this mysterious “710” label is.

With the hood up, the lady points to this round plastic item and says:
“See it says ‘710’ … and it even looks like something is supposed to go in there.”

The service manager reaches down and spins the cap 180-degrees.


There once was a man from Boston
Who drove a brand new Austin
There was room for his ass
And a gallon of gas
But his balls blew away and he lost ‘em

The list of obligatory English car/auto electrics jokes:

Why do Englishmen like their beer room temperature?
-Their ‘fridges are made with Lucas electrics

English cars don’t leak oil, they simply mark their territory

The English car driving motto:
“A gentleman shouldn’t motor after sunset.”

What’s the definition of “life in prison”???
-Being sentenced to death by electric chair in England.

Why is a Stutz better than a woman?
– According to Stutz’s motto it “made good in a day.” In contrast , it takes the average woman five dates.

What’s your favorite car joke? Let us know!


2 Responses to Car humor

  1. being a visual guy, I’ve always liked these:


  2. notoboy says:

    A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

    “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.

    The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.”

    A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I
    had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. ” Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a
    Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

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